Welcome back everyone, I hope that you all are doing well and I hope that you have been enjoying the last couple of posts here on the blog. So today I decided just to have a chit chat post because I really have been going through so much and what better way to express myself than to write. I have always loved writing since I was in school. Plus I find it easier for me to communicate this way.
For the past couple of weeks I have not been myself at all, I mean I have been going through so much and having so much anxiety I really didn’t know what I was going to do. I can say that I have been suffering from anxiety for about 3 months now. I had a big health scare that occurred which really took a huge toll on me and woke me up.
I really didn’t think it was possible for me to have anxiety but I learned that it can at any moment in your life. I am always so hard on myself and I get stressed out very easily. It’s not good for me but that has been something I have been struggling with for a long time. I would get so stressed out that I would shut down. I would physically be still working , taking care of my son and doing all of the other everyday things I do in my life but emotionally I was not there. It bothers me to be that way because I do have a child and I do not want him to see as an unhappy person. The reason I tend to put so much stress on myself is because I want to be able to provide as much as I can for him. I don’t mind being a single parent at all. This has helped me become a better person. I don’t want to have to depend on anyone to help me take care of my responsibility . But yes sometimes it can get a little crazy but that is that job I signed up for when I decided to be a mom. Being a mom has been THE GREATEST GIFT and blessing I could have ever been given in my life.
A major goal I have had for myself this year was to be able to start my YouTube Channel. That has been at the top of my list for so long so I really hope that I can accomplish this by the end of the year. Another goal I have just added back for myself is going back to school. I have attended one year at Berkeley College in 2010 and it was not a good experience. I have been out since then and now is when I feel I must go back. I have had great luck in finding jobs these last two years but I was never truly happy. Don’t get me wrong I was very grateful to be given an opportunity to work for these companies but I was not happy. When I envisioned myself working I always thought that I would be a teacher in a daycare. That was always my dream job since I was a little girl , and now that I have grown up and gotten into beauty so much I am torn between the two. I feel like having either one of these jobs ( teacher or MUA) or both would make me the happiest. And I hope that either one of these or both will be in my future that would make me so happy.
I just recently had to make a sacrifice to leave my previous job due to personal reasons I rather not discuss right now but it was hard. It wasn’t easy to do but I have so much going on still that I need to take care of in order to move forward with anything. After that I got into one of my moods and began to feel really down. As I was thinking it came back that I really need to do what I have to do in order to re-enroll back for school. After speaking with my aunt and best friend I made that step. I called US DEPARTMENT OF ED to get some financial things going. And so with doing that I got some really great news. I will truly know my fate of going back to school this June. I was so excited when I heard that over the phone. I have wanted to go back for so long but I never kept up with it and now I know that I need to DO IT not only for me but for my son. I want to have a career that I know I will love and not have any struggles with. It won’t be easy but I am determinded to do it and make the best of it.
As for right now my job will be blogging. I mean this has become such a big part of my life and I absolutely love it so much. I will be enjoying this time to create more and better content for you guys because I know I have the potential to make this blog into something great. I look forward to creating the best content that I know I can write. If I didn’t have this blog I would be so lost. So I am very grateful that I have found yet another thing in my life that I love so much.
We all go through those phases of feeling down, depressed, anxious and just all the way down. But we always have to keep in mind that we are blessed. I am very blessed that I can wakeup everyday get my son ready for school and just go about the day. Not many of us have this but we all have to make the best of what we have. I am going to keep it up with paying off my student loans so that I can be back in school this September studying Childhood Education. This is my year and I intend to make it a great one for me and my son . 🙂
So if any of you guys are going through something similar you are not alone. We all have things we struggle with everyday day but we cannot give up on ourselves. We have to keep working hard in order to achieve those great things we set our minds too. NEVER GIVE UP and in the end you will be blessed and rewarded !!
I know this post was a bit all over the place but this what just a chit chat 🙂 if you guys have any recommendations on anything posts you will like to see please let me know. And if you have a post similar to this please share it with me I would love to read them.
May you all achieve those goals you have set for 2016 and let’s make this a great year for all of us !!!
Until Next Time Dolls
Xoxo__ Kris !!
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